interning at a bridal boutique

let me tell you;
it is awful interning/working at a bridal boutique..
but not for the reason you are thinking. sure we get a few bossy brides here&there but for the most part all the brides to be are very sweet when they come into the store.
nay, what i'm complaining about is the fact that being surrounded by couples about to take the leap & gorgeous dresses forces ME to think about marriage and weddings. oh sure i will get married eventually but it's not exactly on my top5 or even 10 priority things to do atm. & now I'm thinking about it all the time!

well i don't exactly have a man lined up at the door for me (i mean that'll come in good time, God willing, amiright?) so it's a bit depressing (no matter how much i say it's not quite) when my future life passes by with me as a designer with a load of cats.
I mean what if i do well in my career, which is what i am super focused & trying to acheive now, but i end up a spinster. that's completely mental and superficial on my part (there's more to life than just getting married etc)
& i'm going to be vulnerable here, but it's also frightening to think that maybe i will end up "alone." i know i'm not alone on this one & it's nothing to be embarrassed about, but i am, because no one likes to admit it. & isn't that everyone desires at the end of the day though? not to be alone, to find their other half?

i'm a total girl when it comes to the movie when harry met sally. & i absolutely love when marie & jess are each talking to sally & harry on the phone, respectively & simaltaneously (is that spelled right?) & have this quick exchange of dialogue (on being out in the dating world):
marie: tell me i'll never have to be out there again.
jess: you'll never have to be out there again.
i find this to be extremely sweet & i always love it, because it's them reassuring each other that this is forever & they will always be in love with each other.
 
ahh love... & damn the media that gives us this fantasy image of it.
but ultimately, it's good that i'm unattached. yes i'm 21 now, but there's no end to what i still don't know and my growth............
......besides if i got into a relationship now i'd probably fuck it up anyway.